When people say, “I’ve heard it all now!” it’s doubtful that they have.
For example, only hardcore opera fans – the equivalent of movie nerds who watch the sort of 1950s ‘B’ picture featuring a man in a rubber monster suit destroying a cardboard model of Swansea Civic Centre – can claim to have heard Bluebeard’s Castle by Bela Bartok in the original Hungarian. No. I haven’t either. Let’s put it on our “To Do” list.
If you think you’ve “Heard it all”, let me tell you about a recent item on breakfast telly I found so shocking, I sprayed coffee through my nose – which was odd because I was drinking tea at time.
Scientists revealed that operating theatres would be far more hygienic if surgeons, anaesthetists and nursing staff were naked!
Apparently, nude surgeons – which sounds like a Swedish film I saw in a Cardiff fleapit in 1979 – shed significantly less bacteria than those wearing scrubs, which rub against the skin, causing bacteria to fall off and spread through the air.
So, naked surgery would be healthier. Excuse me?
It’s traumatic enough to be wheeled into an operating theatre and confronted by a group of strangers eager to slice you open.
How much more unsettled would you feel if they were all stark naked?
If you were put to sleep, you might wake up thinking you’d had a weird dream.
But if you’d had an epidural, you’d be continually aware of naked bodies all around you, while praying none of them bent down to pick up a dropped scalpel.
If naked surgery happens, surgeons should still wear surgical masks.
Then you’d only recognise them at a later date if you bumped into them on a nudist holiday!
Which, coincidentally, was the title of another film I saw at the same Cardiff fleapit!