Remember those TV ads for lawyers suggesting they could claim thousands in compensation for individuals* who may have had an accident, such as slipping on an obviously soaking wet floor or stumbling over a packing case that was so big it could be seen from the Hubble Space Telescope. (*Outside legal circles and in the real world, these people are correctly referred to as ‘Clumsy So-And-Soes’.) Those ambulance-chasing lawyers might well be described as ‘Trip advisers’.
See what I did there?
Coincidentally, a well-known travel website (which I’m unable to name) has revealed the often hilarious, frequently baffling reviews that tourists have given to some of Britain’s most famous landmarks, historic sites and buildings and areas of natural beauty.
Stonehenge, a Unesco Heritage Site, was described by one disappointed visitor as “Just a few rocks to look at and nothing to do. They should pull it down and put up an arcade or a funfair. Don’t waste your time!” Unless of course you’re interested in seeing this unique, strange and mysterious stone circle that’s had generations of historians wondering why and how it was erected 5000 years ago.
Some dimwit said about the Elizabeth Tower (more commonly referred to as Big Ben – name of the large bell inside it) “I don’t understand all the hype. It’s literally just a clock!” Yes! That’s exactly what it is! Just like the Statue of Liberty is literally just a statue. The Empire State Building is literally just a building. And The White House is literally nothing more than a home for the bewildered.
The highest mountain in the UK, Ben Nevis, was described as being ‘Too steep’. A truly shocking accusation that could also be levelled at many other annoyingly steep places such as Mount Everest and the learning curve that some tourists need to climb.
What might some of those disgruntled visitors make of Welsh tourist attractions?
The Gower? “Sandy beaches, sea views and welcoming hotels and guest houses. Can’t see the attraction!”
Offa’s Dyke Walk? “Long and exhausting. Needs shortening!”
And the Senedd? “Nothing more than a home for the bewildered!”