Love and Laughter Sat 24th Jan 2015 at The Lyric Theatre Carmarthen

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Prepare for passion and punchlines celebrating St Dwynwen’s, the Welsh Valentine’s.

Following sell out shows at Toronto, Edinburgh and Machynlleth Comedy Festival, Phil Evans rallies a rag tag group of the very best in English language comedy. With stand-ups, comedy characters and musical comedy greats, whatever your Facebook relationship status there are guaranteed giggles.

Featuring Phil Evans (Gala Gomedi, S4C), Daniel Glyn (Gwerthu Allan, S4C), Ignacio Lopez (Show Me The Funny, ITV), Ed Holden (BBC Radio Cymru Award Winner), Simon Emanuel (Welsh Unsigned Stand Up Award winner), Paul James, with his cheeky engaging style and a hint of dark comedy and Karen Sherrard who you will instantly warm to once you collide with her engaging characters and sharp wit.

This will be a showcase featuring the very best comedy performers on the circuit today, together with a few extra surprises.

No expense has been spared for this one off night of guaranteed laughter and mayhem, which will be jam packed with over 90 minutes of live comedy and variety. This is a show that you must not miss.

“Phil Evans is true showbiz royalty – not only the Clown Prince of Comedy, but also the King of the Cwtsh. As a comedian, no-one can touch Phil…which sounds a lot nicer than saying he’s the subject of a number of restraining orders at present. With many years experience, Phil isn’t so much a comic, but more like a force of nature. Warm, cheeky, and with an incredible gift for working an audience; the first time you see Phil Evans, you’ll never forget him. The second time you see him…run!” Gary Slaymaker

Tickets £10

Doors open 7.30 pm

Show starts 8.00 pm

Booking: 0845 226 3510

 

S4C GALA GOMEDI BLOG

PHIL EVANS S4C GALA GOMEDI BLOG JULY 2013

I don’t half get annoyed when some blonde, mini-skirted, giggling n’ jiggling, stunningly attractive, air-headed breakfast TV weather- forecaster tells me it’s the hottest July we’re experiencing since the last hottest July. Especially when she then jumps out of bed and refuses to make me a cup of tea before she goes to work.

 

Whether you’re a dedicated sun lover or buy some other daily paper, let’s all agree it’s been damned hot and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my weeks in this glorious business of show, it’s that relentlessly hot weather is not conducive to the performing of comedy. Or the making of snowmen.

 

So I was grateful we didn’t have a heat wave in 2012 because last August I performed at the S4C Gala Gomedi in the Pavilion at the National Eisteddfod in the Vale of Glamorgan.

 

With the speed and immediacy that TV companies are known for, they broadcast it eleven months later – just over ten days ago. In fact they showed it twice so I did ask a man at S4C if there was any chance of a repeat fee and he pulled himself up to his full height, looked me straight in the knee and said “How many times did you perform in the show, Mr. Evans? “.

 

“Once” I replied. My knees were knocking, but no one answered the door.

 

“Then, Mis-ter Evans, you’ll only get paid once!” he countered, safe in the knowledge he had logic, common sense and a six-foot bodyguard on his side.

 

Anyway, the show was broadcast on S4C on a July Saturday night and went out just before most sensible viewers did. No, that was another joke. I do try to drop one in now and then, as a reminder of what I do for a living. Remind me what it is I do for a living?

 

I was told that the TV show did very well audience-wise. Though I did hear one man wrote a rather stinging letter of complaint, saying “My enjoyment of the S4C Gala Gomedi was spoiled by a rather awkward problem with my armchair. It was facing the TV set!”

 

I must give a mention to my fellow comedians on the night, a group of talented Welsh performers who I’ve known and worked with many times before…and yet , despite that, I always find myself being suckered-in to work with them again.

 

Here’s the roll call…though in Gary Slaymaker’s case, that should be bacon-roll call. No that’s unfair. Gary is currently on a health kick. If I mention his health, he gives me a kick.

 

In no particular alphabetical order, my comedy cohorts were….Daniel Glyn; Dean ap Johnson; Tudur Owen; Arthur Picton; Dewi Pws; Gary Slaymaker; Ifan Tregaron; Mr Phormula and Meilyr Gwynedd They all have their various styles and in turn they all got the large Pavilion audience rocking with laughter and well entertained. Team work at its best.

 

People whose opinions I trust tell me I didn’t do too badly either. I must have done okay because since the show was broadcast I’ve been approached about some possible TV appearances in the not too distant. But keep that under your hat, play your cards close to your chest and keep your powder dry.

 

Once you’ve managed all that, remember to keep your gob shut too!

 

I can tell you one thing for sure, I’ve been booked for the 2013 S4C Gala Gomedi at the Denbighshire and District National Eisteddfod in August, along with several other comedians , some of who were on the bill with me at the 2012 Eisteddfod. Although I’m a little nervous about playing such a prestigious gig for the second year running……although I will be standing still for some of my performance…I’m really looking forward to it and have been preparing new material and routines in readiness.

 

So, based on how long S4C took to broadcast the 2012 show, perhaps you’d like to join me for my July 2014 blog, when I’ll tell you how the TV version of the show was received.

 

Meantime, in order to cool down during the current phenomenal heat wave, I’m going to strip-off down to my socks and stand in front of the freezer for an hour. I just hope the manager of Morrisons doesn’t catch me…again. You don’t want him running behind you with one of those big pointy signs telling you which check-out lady is free.

 

Until then next time, please remember that all it takes is one voice, singing in the darkness…and the bastard will keep you awake all night….

 

Thanks for reading and please share 😉 xxxx

 

 

Machynlleth Comedy Festival & Gwesty Mynffordd Hotel

Machynlleth Comedy Festival & Gwesty Mynffordd Hotel

I decided to treat myself, as I was performing at the Machynlleth  Comedy Festival again this year, I searched for a bit of comfort, a B&B that was home from home.

After searching, I came across Gwesty Mynffordd hotel via Hotels.com.  On arrival, the owner was there to greet me at reception, with a few surprising ground rules, one of which was that the doors would be locked at midnight every night!

There was no mention of this on the booking site, but the owner duly pointed out on his website that this was the case.  Now, as a performer at the festival and for anyone who has been to the festival, you can imagine that some of the most creative work and socialising is done when performers get together AFTER the shows!  This was obviously not going to happen if I had to be in bed by 12.15!  This was a bad start with no room for compromise I discovered.

A weekend in Machynlleth

A cosy B&B

Meet up with friends, a laugh a drink

And wander home ‘round 3

 

It started in reception

Our passes he had clocked

“You may be going out tonight

But at midnight we’ll be locked!”

 

My jaw dropped in amazement

My pupils large and rounded

You must be f*****g joking mate

This feels like I’ve been grounded!

 

I’m only getting started then

(by now I’d got quite shirty)

How can I tell my drunken mates

I leave at 11.30?!

 

They are the rules, they can’t be bent

It’s written in a clause

If you get back at 12:01

You won’t get through those doors!

 

A drink, a curry check my watch

We’ve timed this to perfection

Pull up the drive with time to spare

He’s standing in reception!!

 

His key in hand, he trembles now

His eyes all glazed and misty

He grins a manic evil gin

I sprint like Linford Christie

 

He points the key towards the lock

Won’t take his eyes off mine

I jam my foot inside the door… 11:59!!!!

 

Despite the curfew, the breakfast was very nice, plentiful coffee, room looked clean and tidy…however, I did surprisingly end up sharing my room on Sunday night with a small, furry visitor, who not only decided to take a liking to my packet of Aero Mint balls by the side of the bed, but leave a few deposits of his own on the bedroom floor in the process.  As Brucie might have put it…. “mice to see you, to see you, mice”.  We live and learn.  Never again…..  Trip Adviser would not post any of the above. Amazing

D.E.A.T.H.

Should D.E.A.T.H. be a taboo subject in comedy?

 

APRIL 30TH 2013

 

I haven’t got a lot of time because I’ve got a plumber coming around in a minute to sort out a leaky pipe. I just can’t get it to light, even using good quality tobacco and Swan Vestas matches. So let me crack on right away. A comedian’s act can cover a wide range of subjects. Some of them are palatable to most of the audience, but some joke/quips or comedic observations can cause offence and at times outrage. One subject with the potential to get a negative reaction from an audience is D.E.A.T.H.

 

D.E.A.T.H. comes to us all eventually. But as Woody Allen said “I know death is inevitable, but I don’t want to be there when it happens”. There are plenty of great jokes about D.E.A.T.H. that couldn’t really be described as offensive, mainly because they’re so damn funny. Here’s one of my favourites.

 

There’s an old man, 95, lying in his bed, dying, with his family surrounding him, all of them hushed, respectful and tearful. Suddenly the old man opens his eyes, sniffs the air and says, in a dry, croaking voice, “Is that a baked ham I can smell?“ and his wife, who’s sat by the bed holding his hand, says “ Yes, darling. I put it in the oven a little while ago”. He gently squeezes her hand, looks into her moistened eyes and says “I’m not long for this world, but that ham smells so delicious, my last wish is to enjoy a slice of it between two pieces of warm, crusty bread.” And his wife says “I’m sorry, honey, that’s just not possible. It’s for the funeral!”…

 

There’ve been many sitcoms, plays, farces and films that were based around dead bodies (ones that go missing, usually), funerals & funeral directors, greedy people wanting to bump off elderly relatives for their fortunes, eccentric ghosts returning from the grave to wreak comic vengeance…and so on. They amuse and no one takes offence. So how long should we leave it before we look for humour in a tragic situation? Well, someone far cleverer than me once said….”Tragedy plus time equals comedy”. Not that it gives us carte blanche to make crass, badly-judged jokes about the Holocaust, African famines,‘plane crashes, horrific crimes and natural disasters that claim thousands of lives. But some comedians aren’t prepared to wait for tragic events to become history.

 

They write and perform jokes, entire routines maybe, about these appalling things while they’re still part of ‘The Zeitgiest’, knowing that most audience members will laugh. Which is always their ’Get out of jail’ card. I’m not making any judgement here – just observing.

 

When a comedian does badly on stage, he is said to have ‘died’. Which means his jokes fell flat or the audience didn’t take to him or he was just not on the top of his game. Whatever the cause, to spend even five minutes on a stage, desperately trying to wring laughter out of a stony-faced audience can be soul-destroying. You do ‘die’ a little inside for the rest of the evening. But the next night could be entirely different and you’ll have the entire room rocking with laughter. That’s comedy for you.

 

When a well-known comedy actor or comedian really dies, it seems to affect us more than when a famous ‘straight’ actor passes on, because we hold funny men and women in real affection and recall the times we’ve laughed at them. I’m talking about the greats like Eric and Ernie, Benny Hill, Ronnie Barker, Eric Sykes, Spike Milligan, Les Dawson, Bob Monkhouse, Tommy Cooper, Frankie Howerd – and more recently Richard Briers. In time, the big comedy names of today will pass on, but will they be mourned as much as the previous generations of comedians? In 2013, stand-up comedy can be far stronger and crueller than the silly, often lightweight and whimsical material of previous decades, which the public at the time had found endearing. So when say, Alexei Sayle or Frankie Boyle pop their clogs, their passing might not touch the public in the same way the performers from a gentler age did. I may be wrong about this. Please feel free to disagree if you think that when Russell Brand shuffles off this mortal coil, thousands, nay millions, will shed a nostalgic tear and queue-up for days to sign a ‘Bookie Wookie’ of remembrance.

 

There is an upside to D.E.A.T.H. and you don’t have to be an undertaker or florist to appreciate it. We humans are quite robust. We may take an emotional battering and be inconsolable for weeks and months in our grief for a parent, grandparent, partner, relative or good friend who’s passed. But gradually, our minds and bodies somehow manage to recover so that we can carry on. It’s quite astounding how that happens.

 

We’ve been through the mill, survived one of Life’s great traumas and it’s strengthened our character so we’re ready to take on the next big problem that bunch of bullies The Fates have in store for us.

 

Having a sense of humour and being able to enjoy a joke and a laugh can be therapeutic in times of grief. There’s scientific evidence to prove it – not that many scientists are a barrel of laughs.

 

So until the next time, remember to live every day as if it’s your last – and one day you’ll be proved right.

 

Damn, my pipe is still leaking.

 

Thanks for reading 😉

Last of the Winter Whine

APRIL 2013

Last of the Winter Whine

Hello! Hasn’t it been a long, dark miserable Winter and a pretty dismal Spring so far? That was a rhetorical question, so don’t rush to your keyboards/ ipads / tablets to respond. There’s no point. I’m not in. This blog was written days ago and I’m now ensconced in the Ritz hotel, London, in a sumptuous room which for some reason the management has let me have for a ridiculous knock-down price of fifty quid a night. I don’t know who the last person was to occupy the room, but I have an idea it must have been a very well-thought-of park warden, because I keep getting deliveries of flowers every five minutes. All very charming, but also annoying when you’re trying to cut your toenails in the bath. While I was in the bath I read in the medical section of my newspaper that new research (who pays any attention to old research?) revealed that eating one packet of crisps a day is like drinking five litres of cooking oil a year. This shocked me so much, I made a life-changing decision. Never again will I read the medical section of any newspaper.

Some poor sod of a scientist must have volunteered to swallow five litres of cooking oil to prove the theory correct, while his lucky co-worker only had to munch his way through a packet of cheese and onion crisps every lunchtime for 12 months. For that you don’t need a University degree. You need 42”- waist trousers and to start going on long healthy walks. Not that I find long walks healthy. After traipsing through the woods, muddying my new Hush Puppies (£5.99, Macarthur Glen Outlet) and catching my mustard-yellow & cerise, suedette-style zip-up Primark cardigan ( a Christmas present from a friend with a slight visual impairment and absolutely no fashion sense ) on brambles, I’m creased. As is my mustard-yellow & cerise, suedette-style zip-up Primark cardigan. Mind you, years ago I was an enthusiastic weekend walker. In fact I considered joining the Ramblers Society. So I ‘phoned them and they went on …and on…and on! That was around the time when I played in a local rugby team and as we were travelling along the M4 to play a match somewhere near Bridgend, the coach suddenly broke down. Without warning, the poor man just started sobbing uncontrollably, because we were such a crap team.

Talking of unexpected things happening while you’re travelling, there was a time, many moons ago, long before reality TV became a terrible reality, when it was common for comedians to start their act by saying “ Ladies and gentlemen, a funny thing happened on the way to the theatre tonight!”. Sometimes, if the audience were in a mischievous mood, a wag in the cheap seats might immediately shout back at him “Well there’s nothing very funny happening in here!” The performer would then go into his first joke which would be something along the lines of…‘As I was driving here, I ran over a chicken. A great big cockerel he was. Well, I could see a light on in a farmhouse just off the road, so I went up and knocked on the front door. This big, burly farmer opened it and said “What do you want?” and I said “I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve just run over your cockerel and to make amends I’d like to replace it”. The farmer looked me up and down and said “Suit yourself. The hens are round the back!”

Obviously that hadn’t really happened to the comedian on the way to the theatre. The odds on him running over an escaped farm animal six nights a week and just before his Wednesday and Saturday matinees would mean he was having a fantastically stupefying amount of chicken-related bad luck. No, it was merely a device to get into his first joke.

I was thinking about this the other night as I was driving to a gig, and realised that not once in all my years as a working comedian had anything remotely funny happened on the way to a club, theatre, hotel or conference centre where I’ve been due to perform. And I just know that, if I walked on stage and pretended that something funny had happened on the way, they’d all know I was lying. Imagine that. A comedian, making things up, purely to amuse the audience! The idea’s just laughable.

But on several occasions, annoying, irritating and downright uncomfortable things have happened to me on the way to a gig….and when I’ve arrived there…and during the performance. Some of which I will share with you next time around.

In the meantime, enjoy the Spring weather when it arrives (I think it’s due late August) and do some healthy walking. In which case, you might be interested in a nice mustard-yellow & cerise, suedette-style zip-up Primark cardigan going at a reasonable price…

Laughed & Cried

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I have laughed in his presence, I have cried in his presence, but most of all, I have always been entertained. From Torfaen to Toronto, Dublin to Denver, Abersoch to Atlanta, I’ve witnessed the pure comedic talent that Phil is blessed with. Keep Cwtshing Phil. Anthony Jones. Ireland

Warmth and Biting Wit!

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Phil is an interesting paradox of warmth and biting wit, not only that, but his willingness to drop his trousers for charity endeared himself to many ladies in the audience. He is definitely one of the funniest men I have met (and I have met a few) Lesley-Sharon Davies, IFA & Charity Events Organiser