Healthy alternatives

Why I’m still struggling to find the most healthy alternatives

‘Alternative’ comedy was created by and for youngsters un-amused by ‘middle-aged’ TV comics delivering a string of one-liners. That many of these ‘middle-aged’ comics like Brian Conley, Bobby Davro and Shane Richie were barely into their 20s didn’t matter.

They were considered ‘old school’ and soon ‘alternative’ comedy was all over the TV schedules.

Whether this purge was good or bad is hard for a working comedian like me to judge.

Funny is funny in my book*.

(*My book’s called “How To Be A Stand-Up Comic In 3000 Easy Lessons” and I intend writing it as soon as I take delivery of the ten tons of paper I ordered.)

If the 90s was the era of alternative comedy, 2018 has to be the year of alternative health advice.

One week we’re told something we eat or drink is bad for us – the following week we’re advised it’s beneficial to our health!

It confuses everyone, particularly my Uncle Cledwyn, who got the NHS advice about how many pieces of fruit he should eat every day muddled-up with the units of alcohol he’s allowed.

So, every day he drinks five glasses of wine and eats two and half pineapples.

Recently, while I was drinking my second cup of coffee of the day, I read an article in my paper that said three cups of coffee a day are good for us.
So, I increased my daily coffee intake by one more cup.

Last week, as I was drinking my third cup of coffee of the day I read an article in my paper that said that, in California, coffee shops will soon have to warn customers that coffee contains carcinogens.

You’d probably have to drink several hundred cups of coffee a week before it caused you any problems, but I’m going to play it safe.

Barman! Two large Merlots for Uncle Cledwyn and me!