Look out – I’m on a mission

I’ve tried my best, I really have. Despite my weekly efforts to inform the world (well, this part of it anyway), it feels like I’m doggy-paddling against a tidal wave of indifference.

But I won’t walk away from my mission.

“What is your mission?” I hear you ask.

Which isn’t easy to answer, as I’m in Coventry having my toe-nails clipped by a chiropodist named Dimitri as you read this.

My mission is to correct irritating errors made by TV, radio and the press – including . . . . gasp . . . this esteemed publication.

The Post recently ran a story about a flood at the Grand Theatre Swansea which caused two ‘showings’ of “Aladdin” to be cancelled. Showings?

I almost spilt my avocado-on-toast flavoured latte. Cinemas have ‘showings’. Theatres have ‘performances’.

If someone said to me, “We’re going to a showing of Rigoletto at the Welsh National Opera tonight”, my response would be, “When did the WNO open a cinema?”

Because that’s the sort of razor-sharp, killer repartee I’m known for.

Media sources, including BBC News, stated that Fire and Fury, the new book about Trump, was released four days earlier than planned. No, it wasn’t!

Films, CDs, prisoners and racing pigeons are released. Books are published.

That’s why we have publishers and not ‘releasers’. Ever read that a new musical or play was ‘premiered’ in the West End?

It wasn’t. Films have premieres. Stage shows have ‘first nights’.

Even broadcasters who should know better (“Hi Elaine!”) often refer to a stage musical having a ‘soundtrack’ album’. It doesn’t!

Films have ‘soundtrack’ albums. Stage musicals have ‘original cast’ albums.

Bearing in mind the state of the world, you may consider my mission is of no importance.

But, consider this . . .

If broadcasters and journalists can’t be bothered to use the correct terminology in trivial stories, might they do the same with the bigger stuff?