Who needs coffee shop gossip?

I recently mentioned that being unable to sit in coffee shops and overhear conversations that might prove useful for comedy material was one of the downsides of the lockdown.

Not that there are many upsides, apart from the public’s heightened appreciation of the debt of gratitude we owe everyone working in the NHS – from the stoic ICU doctors and nurses to all the other medical professionals and the cleaners, porters and catering staff.

Because we’re used to seeing busy intensive care wards  on the TV news – including uplifting scenes of patients who’ve been treated for the virus and survived –  we tend to overlook that as well as unfortunate coronavirus patients, there are thousands of people in hospitals all over the UK with other serious conditions.

Life-saving operations, scans, biopsies, x-rays, blood tests and other procedures are being carried out, just as they were before we’d ever heard of Covid-19.

And we shouldn’t forget NHS staff who risk their lives every day in  out-patient departments dealing with appointments made months ago and A & E staff kept busy helping those in pain and distress 24 hours a day.

These doctors, nurses and paramedics have no idea if the people who need their attention might be in the early stages of infection.

I’ve gone off at a tangent now – who said “So what’s new?”- but as tangents go, it’s one that needed to be gone off on – if that makes sense.

What I actually wanted to say was, I’ve discovered I don’t have to sit drinking coffee surrounded by gossiping ladies to pick up potentially funny lines.

One arrived, gift-wrapped, at my front gate last week…

As I was putting out my 47 different re-cycling bins, bags and boxes, a young lady walked past, talking on her mobile phone to, I presume, a female friend.

She spoke just 12 words which were more than enough to publicly lay bare her relationship with her male partner….
“See, I have to tell him he’s wrong, even when he’s right!”

Are there any ladies out there who can identify with that sentiment?