It’s a strange old world – literally!

We live in a time where Donald Trump is about to become the most powerful man in the world, vegans want to scrap the new five pound notes because they contain tiny traces of animal fats (why not just ask for five one-pound coins instead?) and millions of TV viewers enjoy watching minor celebrities chewing on a dead kangaroo’s you-know-what, while locked inside a box of snakes.

Some readers wonder why I get annoyed with people so dim I’m astonished they can find their way out of their own front doors to wander aimlessly along while texting on their stupid…err…smart phones, oblivious that pavements might just occasionally be used by other pedestrians.

In my defence, there are weeks when I relate happy experiences I’ve enjoyed, recall the wonderfully bright, caring people I’ve met and share a positive view of the world. This, however, is not one of those weeks!

As the correct usage and meaning of words are important to comedians, we’re probably more aware of – and annoyed by – the monumentally stupid things that monumentally stupid people say, especially in the media.

I recently heard a Radio Two programme trailer for a pre-recorded concert which included a brief extract from the singer’s performance followed by a female presenter breathlessly announcing . . .

“Wow! There are no words to describe that! It was amazing!”

So, although there were ‘No words to describe that’, miraculously in less than one second she’d managed to invent one which began with ‘a’ and ended in ‘g’. Amazing!

That was a double win for the world of stupid, because whoever edited the trailer and left in that ludicrous line and didn’t think it through.

On ITV’s “Loose Women” last week, one of the women on the panel was an ex-model with several autobiographies and novels to her name, none of which she’d written or, I’d guess, had even read. I wouldn’t reveal her name at any Price.

Recommending a West End show she’d seen the night before, she said “It was so funny, I literally exploded with laughter!”

As ‘literally’ means it actually happened, if a silicone-bosomed, vacuous ‘celebrity’ had spontaneously exploded inside a theatre, it might have been reported on the TV news, probably, in these dumbed-down days, just ahead of the announcement that WW3 was starting a week Tuesday.

Oh dear. Looks like we’re back to Mr. Trump again!