A regular reader came up to me last week and asked, “Do you really get annoyed about so many things . . . or do you just pretend?”
My response? “Kindly pass me that towel and get out of my bathroom!” I had new door locks fitted the next day.
The truth is I do get annoyed by many things. Like . . . Christmas songs being played in shops well before Remembrance Sunday. Christmas songs being played in shops well after Remembrance Sunday.
Recently I heard a BBC Radio Wales traffic presenter announce, “There is some issues on the Heads Of The Valleys Road!” My quick fire response was worthy of Oscar Wilde – “Yeah, and that’s not the only thing there is issues with!”
You think Craig Revel Horwood is catty? He’s an amateurcompared to me!
I must be one of those over-sensitive people whose hackles are easily raised.
As a matter of fact, my family’s raised hackles since the 18th Century, always releasing them into the wild when they’re old enough to fend for themselves.
Now that we’re well into winter, my perennial pet peeve is starting to appear once again – grown men wearing shorts in bitterly cold weather, striding around as if they’re in the Australian outback. They might think they’re tough as leather, but in fact they’re daft as a brush. Why?
Because, as their bare, pasty legs are attacked by icy winds, hail and snow, they wear woolly hats to keep their heads warm! Does that make any sense whatsoever?
I overheard one young man justify his lack of long legwear in December by boasting, “I’ve come straight from football training!” If he hadn’t been twice my size, I would have asked, “Fine. But why did you leave your trousers in the changing room?”
As for bandy, beer-bellied men over 50 wearing crumpled shorts at any time of year, I’m meeting the Lord Chief Justice soon to discuss having it made a capital offence . . .