It’s time to bin all this talk of banning

Lately, I’ve noticed the media’s devoted airtime and newsprint to several people who want things banned.

The Headmistress of a Lincoln primary school wants to ban the playground game of ‘Tag’, describing it (and all other games which involve physical contact, including linking arms!) as ‘Inappropriate Behaviour’.

The idea’s so nonsensical I wonder whether the idea came to her after receiving a heavy blow to the head while participating in a traditional playground game.  Because when her small pupils move on to High School, they’ll be playing rough’n’tumble games like football, rugby and hockey.  And, if they’ve never had to endure so much as a scraped knee, bruised shin or dented pride when they were knocked over on their backsides at primary school, they’re in for a big shock!

Playground games are like real life.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Which is why they help prepare little ones for when they grow up.

Singer Lily Allen, who disapproved of the Rorke’s Drifft commemorations a while back, tweeted her 1.5 million followers that the lyrics of “Rule Britannia” offend her so much she wants it banned.  Lily Allen wrote and recorded the song “F*** You!” (the blush-saving asterisks are mine!) so has a brass nerve complaining about offensive lyrics.

The word ‘Irony’ must be missing from her dictionary.

The oh-so-PC Manchester University Student’s Union are banning audiences from applauding performers and speakers as it might upset ultra-sensitive people.

Instead, they’re to show their appreciation by silently waving ‘Jazz Hands’ which have their origins in minstrel shows – and we know how un-PC they were.

For centuries, entertainers have thrived on applause.  So if, at the end of a performance, they’re greeted by ‘enthusiastic silence’, it’ll look, sound and feel pretty weird.

Surely individuals so ultra-sensitive to the sound of applause wouldn’t attend any ‘live’ performance which, depending on it’s nature might include amplified music and singing…raucous laughter…or any sort of audience participation.

If you come to one of my shows, feel free to loudly laugh and applaud.  But please – don’t play Tag!  Or bring Lily Allen!