Unbelievable world of celebrity

It’s my own fault really. When I see newspaper headlines about D-List ‘celebrities’ (often literally of the ‘car crash’ variety) who I’ve either never heard of or wish I hadn’t, I should turn the page quickly.

But, as I’m always searching for ideas to amuse and inform readers of this column, I tend to cast my eyes over the article and shake my head in disbelief at what celebs think they can get away with.

I’m not referring to performers or writers – people who make a living through talent and hard work.  I mean ‘celebs’ like the ex-topless model who’s rarely out of the news thanks to a series of dramas, most recently a motoring mishap and subsequent court appearance.

After the hearing, she admitted being ‘pleased’ to get a three-month driving ban because she thought she might be jailed for two years.

She added: “As soon as the ban is over I’ll buy a new car!” – even though she’s supposedly so badly off she has to sell her country mansion.

So, how did someone with no discernible talent, other than the ability to remove her clothes and smile at the camera, get so rich before (apparently) becoming less rich?

A publisher offered her a deal to write her autobiography, which sold by the bucket load!  Further autobiographies and novels with her name on the cover followed. They  made her a fortune.

But she didn’t write one word of any of the books. They were penned by ghost writers. And the ‘celeb’ has admitted she hasn’t even read all of them!

When each book was published she toured major book shops to promote it. I’m not sure whether she actually signed the books or whether she hired a ghost signer to do it for her.

Last week, she was photographed having a ‘boozy afternoon out’ with some girlfriends.  Was she celebrating yet another book deal?

Please form an orderly queue for signed copies….