Who’s next for the big screen treatment?

Let me admit straight away that I think the song “Bohemian Rhapsody” is a bombastic load of old nonsense which goes on forever.  When it comes on the radio I switch off and have time to shave, iron my shirt and eat a full Welsh breakfast before I switch it on again.

I know I’m in the minority (because there’s only one of me) and understand why a successful film bearing the song’s title was made about Freddie Mercury and Queen.  I also appreciate that over his long and sometimes tempestuous career, Sir Elton John has sold zillions of records and entertained a lot of people at his live concerts.

So his bio-pic* “Rocketman” was inevitable, although it’s unusual for a film to be made about a real person while they’re still breathing and pounding their be-jewelled fingers on the keys of a million dollar piano.

But . . . you knew there was a ‘but’ on the way, didn’t you?
I was staggered to read a ‘Bye-O-Pick’ is planned about ‘Boy’ George.  As he was recently 58, I’m not sure how much longer he can get away with that ‘Boy’ monicker.

Freddie and Elton both have enough songs to fill several ‘Greatest Hits’ CDs, while I struggle to remember more than a couple of chart entries by George and Culture Club.

His biggest hit was about his ability to put his pet lizard at ease – “Calm A Chameleon”.

So, it seems any old pop act could have their careers immortalised on the cinema screen and three months later available on DVD and VOD.

For example . . .

“Kisses For Me” – the true story of rock ‘n’ roll rebels The Brotherhood Of Man.

Or how about “Shaddap You Face” – Joe Dolce sells six million records worldwide then does us all a big favour and vanishes into obscurity?

But the one I’d most like to see is ‘Chesney Hawkes – How I Made A 30 Year Career Out Of My One And Only Hit’.

See you in the cheap seats…

*Pronounced ‘Bye-O-Pick’ and not, as some broadcasters mis-pronounce it…‘BIOPP-ick’!