Zombies! Who likes ’em? Not me!
They never brush their teeth, shave or change their clothes.
They never send Christmas cards or invite you around for drinks on a Friday evening. Which is just as well . . . because they’re rubbish at small talk.
Most annoying of all, they move so slowly. You wait for ages if you’re stood behind a couple of them at the supermarket check-out. And they take all day at reverse parking.
While you and me know there’s no such things as zombies, there are people who believe they exist.
These aren’t impressionable teenage horror fans who’ve watched every version of “Night Of The Living Dead” and its many sequels, remakes and spin-offs.
They’re not little ’uns who know about zombies thanks to ‘family friendly’ scary films like “Hotel Transylvania” and episodes of “Scooby Doo”.
Thankfully, any ‘zombie’ featured in that long-running cartoon series turns out to be the evil proprietor of an abandoned amusement park who (in the closing minutes of the episode, as he’s taken away by the cops) complains that he could have got away with it . . . “If it wasn’t for you pesky kids!”
No, according to a recent survey, 25% of adults who were asked, believed a zombie apocalypse could happen and had taken steps to prepare for it.
They’d stockpiled food and water and planned safe routes out of their home city or town into the mountains and forests.
Presumably because they think zombies rarely enjoy country rambles or go hiking in the hills.
Now, if the 25% of people who believe in zombies are the same individuals who believe that the world is run by Lizard People; that the Loch Ness Monster exists; and that one day “Casualty” will end its 30-year run, we have nothing to worry about.
But if they’re not (and there are millions of gullible people out there who truly believe in these things), then this Halloween the rest of us have good reason to be scared!